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Author: melisar

Why We Said Yes to Adoption (and no to fertility treatments)

While I certainly know that not all people choose to adopt solely because they’ve struggled with infertility, I’d be a fool to think infertility isn’t relevant to adoption. Because the truth is, most of us do choose adoption after we’ve experienced years of not being able to conceive on our own. Many couples arrive at adoption after enduring much loss – miscarriages, failed fertility treatments,

Jordan Whitaker’s Eagle Scout Project for Birth Mothers!

Project Description: Jordan wanted to make matching quilts for birth mothers and adoptees to share as a way to remember each other. The adoption process can be very stressful and emotional. These quilts could help to heal the emotional loss experienced by the birth mothers as they choose a better life for their children by placing them for adoption. Later in life as the adoptees get

How to Care For Yourself During The Adoption Process

Adoption is, by far, the hardest things I’ve ever done. I’ve gone through the process twice now and have two beautiful, perfect daughters that I am so grateful for. But there were days I felt like quitting and throwing in the towel. There were days I was angry because the process felt cruel and unfair. There were times when everything felt reckless and out-of-control which

5 Things Not to Say To a Parent By Adoption (And How To Respond)

I could have called this “1000 Things Not to Say To a Parent By Adoption” but I don’t have all day and neither do you. As parents by adoption, we’ve heard it all. We’ve been approached by random strangers asking about the details of our adoptions or questions about why our skin doesn’t match. We’ve probably been offended and embarrassed in a million different ways

8 Ways to Bond With Your Child

Perhaps one of the biggest worries that hopeful parents have is that they won’t bond with their new baby.  As adoptive parents, we don’t get 9+ months to grow our belly, feel kicks, learn their habits or feel their hiccups. Instead, our months are usually filled with unknowns, anxiety, fear, excitement, hesitant preparation, and a lot of waiting. I’m here to tell you good news. You

Post-Adoption Depression. Yes, It’s a Real Thing.

Post-adoption depression, much like post-partum depression describes the stress, anxiety, and emotions that may follow after your adoption takes place. Although it may not be a formally recognized diagnosis, it is very real. It’s typically preset in new mothers by adoption after the placement has happened or the adoption is finalized. And possibly the hardest part is that no one tells you, no one warns

Why I Will Never Refer to My Daughters as “Twiblings”

I am a mama of two beautiful girls. They are now 20 months old and 14 months old. That’s right – only six months apart. Life is wildly adventurous and beautifully chaotic with two toddlers but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. My daughters have brought me more love, lessons, and adventure than I could have imagined. Their relationship, even at such a young age,

The Easy, Peasy Step-by-Step Guide to Adoption

I almost laughed out loud when I titled this “easy peasy” because adoption is far, far from that. So, please, let me clarify.  When we decided to adopt, I knew nothing about the process. I was completely inundated and discouraged by all the things that Google told me. When you search “how to adopt”, Google comes back with 111,000,000 results. Amongst these are paid ads,

Surviving the Holidays (When Your Arms Are Empty)

Ohhh, the holidays. The dreaded, joyful, stressful, crazy holidays. This time of year is magical but stressful for many. The gathering, gifts, decorations, expectations – it’s overwhelming. But a season of joy can become a season of (more) pain for those who desire a child but still have empty arms. If you’re on the path of infertility or adoption and still waiting for that perfect