My Story: An Adoptive Couple’s Reflection About Their Experience with Utah Adoption
When Kevin and Darlene were married, they knew they wanted to have children, but what they didn’t know is that they would be unable to conceive the children themselves. They were now looking to adopt, but infant adoption isn’t free, and money held them back. They had many pregnancy and adoption questions. In the beginning of their married life both Kevin and Darlene were attending college, in consequence they did not have a lot of extra money. Once they both graduated with their bachelor’s degrees, they started saving their money for adoption. The couple lived off Darlene’s teaching salary while Kevin’s paycheck went into savings until they had enough saved to adopt. Fast forward nine years and they adopted their first child through LDS Family Services.
Those nine years were anything but easy. Darlene refers to the waiting period to be the hardest part about adoption. It was difficult for her to see her coworkers become pregnant and have their own children when she was longing to be chosen by a birth mother.
“Before I got Trevor it felt like torture, it felt as if we were at our breaking point” – Darlene.
After the adoption of their first child, the family started saving for their adoption plan again. They didn’t see going into debt over a child as a foreseeable option, so they were trying as hard as they could to save for another child. They adopted their second child through LDS Family Services five years later.
“You feel like you’re being judged on your appearance” -Darlene
Adopting their last two children was a different story. They adopted through DCFS which is the Division of Child and Family Services. This situation was different because the child had to live with them for quite some time until they could adopt him. Their last child came into their home at the age of five and they adopted her when she was eight. They never knew if she would be taken away to a different home or returned to her birth mother. This created unease in the family and was hard for them. According to Darlene, each adoption became harder than the one before.
“In this life, you never really get to pick your trials” -Kevin.
In the close of the interview, Darlene said, “Keep hope. It will happen eventually [adoption] if you really want it”.
For additional adoption stories and information visit www.foreverboundadoption.org or call Forever Bound Adoption at 801-821-1354.