Over the Moon and Stars
When I was young, whenever I thought about what I wanted to do when I grew up, I always wanted to be a mother. I went through all the steps in my life, graduated high school, went to college, got married, graduated college and worked. The next step was to have a baby and to become what I wanted to be for so long, a mommy. After a year of marriage we decided to start trying to have a family. I was thrilled and Brent was terrified!! After months of trying and no baby, it become an emotional roller coaster. Each month the roller coaster got harder and harder to ride as the disappointment increased, until one miraculous month… we got pregnant! I don’t think I could have ever been happier, I was over the moon! But at 14 weeks I received the worst news of my life, we had lost the baby. I didn’t know what I did wrong; I was crushed, I was heartbroken. We wanted this child so badly! Not only was it painful to have lost the baby, but the thought of trying again to get pregnant and experiencing the roller coaster of emotions once again, was more than I could bear. We wanted to have a family though, so I had no choice. My fear became reality as months went by with more failed tests and failed fertility treatments. July of 2013 rolled around and that would mark a year from our miscarriage and a year with no baby or even a positive test. With the reality of another failed fertility treatment I didn’t know how much more I could take. I decided that being a mother just wasn’t in the cards for me.
After talking to Brent about taking a break from trying to get pregnant, and instead concentrating on us as a couple, we got a phone call. A very close family friend of ours asked us if we would be interested in adopting a 3 week old baby girl. We were both in disbelief that this was actually happening! She explained to us that she had been very close to this family in her neighborhood, and that their teenage daughter had just had a baby. Because of the circumstances in the family, they had decided it was best for the baby to place her for adoption.
Brent and I were in Sun Valley, ID when we received the call. Lisa, our family friend, told us that the family wanted to meet us A.S.A.P. Once Brent and I got off the phone we just looked at each other stunned! We jumped into the car and drove back to Salt Lake City to meet this baby girl. I don’t think Brent has ever driven so fast! Once we arrived I remember shaking and almost feeling like we were in a fog. I will never forget holding her for the first time, and her two beautiful brown eyes looking up at me. It was crazy because I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but I couldn’t help feeling as though everything felt so very right. From the moment she was placed in my arms I was in love with this blond haired brown eyed girl.
As we got in our car and drove away I remember having the most peaceful feeling as though I knew whatever was meant to be, would be, and that I could be happy with whatever decision was made. Two days later, the birth mother’s dad called us and said that he wanted to meet us at Lisa’s house that night. He let us know on the phone that he and his daughter, the birth mother, wanted Brent and I to be the parents of this beautiful baby girl that they had named Annabella, “Bella”. The birth grandfather explained to us that he fell instantly in love with little Bella from the moment that he held her. He was a single father of five children and the task of taking on another child seemed too daunting, but because of the love he had for her, he was going to try and make it work. For two weeks he and his daughter tried to care for Bella. They both knew that they wanted to give Bella a life that she deserved, but the thought of not having her in their lives was too hard to bear. He told us how he had talked to Lisa about the way he and his daughter were feeling and she had mentioned us. He decided that he would like to meet us and just see.
So, that night, together with my parents and Brent’s parents, we all met at Lisa’s house. We had a nice visit with them. The birth grandfather told us later that when we walked into the room he felt that he knew us from somewhere, but wasn’t sure where. After we left, the birth mother told her dad that she loved us, and she said that she knew I was the mother because Bella stopped crying the minute they put her into my arms. She told her dad that she had made her decision, but he needed to decide also. He told her that he didn’t think he would be strong enough to let her go. He continued to struggle the next day, convincing himself that he could not do this. He asked his local church leader and Lisa’s husband if they would give him a priesthood blessing. Following the blessing he took Bella out on the balcony. As he stood looking at this beautiful baby, he remembered how he knew both Brent and I. He had seen us in his dream. He knew right then that Heavenly Father let him know through a dream that we were the parents to his granddaughter and while looking at her he finally felt at peace. He then went on to ask that we remind her often of how much her birth family loves her and that they never “didn’t want her” they just wanted to give her more. He then hugged us both and told us that this was our baby that we were holding in our arms.
So, from that night on, we were parents to this beautiful blonde haired, brown eyed girl and our life’s changed forever in the best way possible. We have a picture of Bella’s sweet birth mom in her room, and we pray for her each night. Bella will always know who her birth mother is, and how blessed we are to have her in our life, because without her we would not have Bella in our life. Both Brent and I have always felt that we knew Bella was supposed to be part of our family. She just needed to come through a different way to touch so many lives. Our lives could not be happier… we are over the moon, and stars!
— by Anonymous