We’ve all heard from those who seem to have the ideal open adoption with their child’s birthfamily. They do everything together and meet every other week. We hear from every corner of the world that open adoption is always best and our children must have a relationship with their biological parents to feel secure and complete. There are so many differing perspectives and opinions on
Whew, this is a big one. I’m already tearing up just from typing the title of this article. I feel overwhelmed by gratitude and weighed down by immense pressure all at the same time. Let me explain.
I can’t fully grasp the depths of adoption even after I’ve adopted twice (and on the journey to do it a third time). Because the emotions, the biology, the
While I certainly know that not all people choose to adopt solely because they’ve struggled with infertility, I’d be a fool to think infertility isn’t relevant to adoption. Because the truth is, most of us do choose adoption after we’ve experienced years of not being able to conceive on our own. Many couples arrive at adoption after enduring much loss – miscarriages, failed fertility treatments,
Adoption is, by far, the hardest things I’ve ever done. I’ve gone through the process twice now and have two beautiful, perfect daughters that I am so grateful for. But there were days I felt like quitting and throwing in the towel. There were days I was angry because the process felt cruel and unfair. There were times when everything felt reckless and out-of-control which
I used songs and quotes a lot through the waiting of infertility and the adoption process. I leaned on them when I was feeling down and uninspired. I had them saved to my phone, wrote them in my planner, pasted them to my mirror, anywhere I could bump in to them throughout the day. Surrounding myself with positivity was important for my mental health and
I could have called this “1000 Things Not to Say To a Parent By Adoption” but I don’t have all day and neither do you. As parents by adoption, we’ve heard it all. We’ve been approached by random strangers asking about the details of our adoptions or questions about why our skin doesn’t match. We’ve probably been offended and embarrassed in a million different ways